Love always finds a way
by The She Shepherd's
Summary: DC This story takes place when Carol and Doug were first dating. They have been dating for about two years. Something happens that could bring them closer together or end their relationship.


(Takes place on a Thursday, early evening)

Carol is sitting on her bed in her apartment building, which she shares with a roommate. The walls were a plain color of white, all there really was in the room was a dresser, bed, and closet. She felt like she was all alone and it is pretty obvious that she has been crying. Her tears were puffy, but only people who really paid attention to her would notice Carol had the phone is her hand, looking as if she wanted to call someone. Then she dials a number. "Hello" We hear someone say. "Doug its me can you come over I need to talk to you" Carol says in tears. "Carol are you okay? Wait I will be right over." Doug says and hangs up.

Carol had been glad that he was not working, because what she was about to say, could ruin their relationship. That was how sure she was that Doug would take this news really bad, the news being that she was pregnant. They had not talked much about this topic, but Carol knew way, he could not commit to her. He usually was drunk and with different women every night. That was unless he was with her, which was not that often. It hurt her to think, that the one man that she had ever truly loved would be leaving her, and that he did not truly love her back, that little fact was breaking her heart into little pieces. Even though she was scared out of her mind she needed his support. She was so scared at the moment, she did not know who to go to and she did not feel as if she had anyone else to go to. Plus the fact that she was scared out of her mind of becoming a parent to a child that was 100 percent dependent on her.

"Doug" Carol said when she first saw him. "Carol talk to me, whats happening? Are you okay?" Doug ask. 'He is treating me differently, why is he treating me differently? What happened?' He has never seen Carol this upset even when he was cheating on her. "No, Doug your going to hate me. Oh god your going to hate me." Carol sobbed. She could not stand it, she wanted him to love her and make a commitment to her but it seemed like he never would. "Please Carol tell me whats happening." "No I can't, I am serious you will hate me. Please no." Carol sobbed "Carol why did you call me over here. Talk to me." "You really want to know?" Carol asked walking away. "Yes tell me" Doug said following her. "Fine I'm pregnant." Carol wasn't crying anymore, Instead she was angry at Doug. Mostly because he was not showing her any love. Nothing, it was like he did not ever care.

"Oh my god, what I'm I going to do?" Doug asked, mostly to himself. But loud enough for Carol to hear, and when she did her anger just grew. "What are you going to do? huh Doug? Do you even love me? I don't think you even care!" Carol yelled as she ran upstairs into her room. She knew that she should not be getting so worked up but she can't help it, She had Doug's unborn baby, and he didn't even show the slightest emotion. Now it was, obvious to her that he does not love her. Just knowing that was like a punch in the stomach.

"Carol I am going to leave. I left some money on the table to help you pay for everything, and I will be making payments to you every month. I just cant be a part of this child's life." 'My life is over, how am I going to take care of a baby by myself.'

"Carol, you awake?" Someone asked knocking on Carol's bedroom door. Carol's roommate, Lexi, who had blond hair blue eyes, is about 5'7, she was very pretty. "Yea, come on in Lexi." When Lexi enters she saw that Carol had been crying. Since Lexi and Carol are best friends Lexi was worried that something was really wrong. "Whats the matter? You okay?" Lexi asked with a concerned voice. "Right now, I don't really know." Carol says as she gets tears in her eyes. "Talk to me, tell me what happened, Is it Doug?" Carol just nods no longer able to control the tears.

After she has calmed herself, Carol continues. "I think its over with me and him?" Carol says in anger this time rather then with tears. "What happened? What did he do?" Lexi asked growing angry too. She knew the history between them and she also knew how much Carol cared about Doug. "Its more of what he didn't. A few days ago I found out I was pregnant. Today I told him. To say the least he didn't take it well. He told me that he can't apart of this child's life. He left me a check and said that he would pay me monthly. But thats not what I want." Lexi just gathers Carol in her arms. She knew it was all she could do for her right know. She also knows that Carol needs to calm down, because it isn't good for the baby. Ten minutes later Carol fell asleep.

Doug is walking down the streets four hours after he left Carol's apartment , he has been thinking about Carol and what she told him. He knew he would never be a good father, not after his own childhood. But he felt he was cheating Carol by not telling her how he felt. 'She does not know why I do the things I do and why I can't be with her and now this baby' Doug thought to himself. He just did not think that it was fair enough. He would not tell anyone, but he loved Carol. He did not deserve Carol. Plus he was hurting because no one would really love he, because we was not worthy of love from anyone. He had felt that way since after what had happened to his dad. He is just going to grow up and live just like his father.

Doug did not notice it but Lexi was following him. She wanted to find him and talk to him because she needed to find a way to help Carol. She was her only friend that she could go to with a problem. "Doug stop" Lexi called out. She needed to get this over with so she can go back and she how Carol was. She did not think her friend would be getting much sleep tonight and she wants to be there for her when she need her, just like Carol did. "Lexi you scared me, what are you doing? Why are you following me?" Doug asked wondering who else might be following him. "Look Doug I know you don't want to even talk about what Carol told you earlier. You probably want to forget it and never remember. Let me tell you, you cant." Lexi said. She was hopping she could talk some since into Doug and get him to talk to Carol. "How much do you wanna bet Lexi. I am good at running away. I bet you know that." Doug said becoming upset that Lexi was coming after him. "Do you know how much you have hurt her. I know you love her. I know you do. When I see you with her, when you are not drunk, I can see the love in your eyes." Lexi said, she new it was true when she saw the look in his eyes of how do you know. Doug starts to walk again.

"You are right, but know that you know i cant stay here. You don't understand and you never will. I can never be loved. Carol deserves so much more than me. Now that is why I am doing this. I should not be loved even by her." Doug said knowing now he has to leave. " But don't you see Doug, she loves you as much as you love her. Just try talking to her. Tell her what your childhood was like. Tell her what you think. She needs at least that. If you still don't think you can handle this after you tell her then leave but not right know. She needs something." Lexi says. Wishing he will come with her and hopping everything will be alright. "Okay I will come."

Doug walks into Carol's bedroom, he does not see her, but the light in the bedroom. He walked into the bathroom to find Carol bent over the toilet throwing up. Just seeing her sick made him want to run to her and tell her that he loved her. Doug went to her and held back her hair and rubbed her back. When she was done she turned to him and cried. Carol did not know if he had changed his mind out what. But she was just happy that he was there with her know. "Shh baby its okay." Doug says and just sits with her rubbing her back so she can calm down. It took her about five minutes to before she was able to face Doug, which is when he lead her to her bed to lay down.

"We need to talk Carol. There are somethings that I need to tell you. Some of this will not be easy for me to tell you, but you need to know. Okay?" "Okay." Carol says. "First off I want you to know that I love you. It was and still is not easy for me to say because of the childhood I had. I am sorry it took me so long to tell you." Doug says waiting for a reaction from Carol. "You don't know how happy I am. I have loved you for so long. But if you loved me why did you just leave when I told you about the baby." Carol asked. She was starting to feel sick again but she wanted to talk to him. "Just to let you know this is going to take a while. But I want to talk to you about what it happening. I want you to know. But my father was very abusive. Why I left is I thought I was going to end up like him. Be a horrible father. I don't want to do what he did. I don't want this child to know what it is like." Doug has tears in his eyes as he picks her up.

Carol is worried she has never seen this side of Doug. She just wants him to be here with her. "Care can we go to bed together." Doug asked. He Knew she should be in bed going to sleep. However, he did not think that if they kept talking that they will ever get to sleep. "Of course babe. You wanna know something? I love you too." Carol said with a smile. "You do?" Doug asked in disbelief. He did not think that anyone would ever love him. "of course I do. Come on lets go to sleep." It took Carol five minutes to fall asleep. She was tired. Doug however, can't take his eyes off of her. He was so glad that they were going to have an actual relationship, and that he did not scare her off. Soon enough though Doug was in a peaceful sleep just like Carol.

It was noun, lunch time, Doug was at work, but wishing he was at home. They needed him, because it was very busy or else he would have called in sick. When Doug woke up, The first think he noticed about Carol was that she was sick. She had a fever and a sore throat.

Since it was not as busy now Doug was going to go home and see Carol even though he had only been there for four hours. 'I should be home with her, not here working. She needs me right know. It is not proving that i am changing.' Doug thought to himself then he went to find Mark. "Hey mark I need to get going. Carol is home sick and I need to get back there. Is that alright?" Doug asked. If Mark made him stay he would be upset. He wanted to show Carol that he what he said last night. "How could I make you stay when you going home to Carol because she needs you? Yes go" Mark said laughing. "Thanks Mark call me later."

When Doug came home, Carol was sleeping. However, she looked as if she was burning up. Doug had known that she was sick, just not how bad it was. Know he wished he did, because he did not think Carol would admit how sick she felt. "Hey baby wake up." Doug said, trying to wake her up to see if there was anything that he could do. 'It was about time to play doctor' Doug thought to himself with a smile. He knew he would play doctor, even if he was tired. Carol started to wake up. "Hey there, how are you feeling?" Doug asked. "Hot" Carol said. She barely had enough energy, she could not keep anything down, her throat was killing her, and she felt as if she was burning up. "Anything else?" Doug asked trying to get to the bottom of this. "Yeah I am tired, I can't keep anything down, and my throat is killing me." Hearing this, Doug felt horrible. "Baby, why didn't you tell me this before I went in today? I could have stayed at home to help you." "Doug they needed you, the hospital was jambed with patients. I am fine, and I knew I could make it until you got home. Know your home and that is all that matters to me." Carol told Doug making sure that he understood what she was saying. "You know what? I love you." Doug said. He did not care what he sounded like, he just wanted her to know that he cared and that he loved her. "Now lets see what wrong with you." Doug continued.

After examining her, to the best of his ability, he came to the conclusion that she has strep throat, and the flue. "Okay, sweetheart, it looks like you have strep and the flu. I am going to give you a mild dose of antibiotics, and we need to keep an eye on things and set up an appointment with your OB doctor, okay? " Doug told her, he knew she would be worried about the baby. Whether she would admit it or not, that she was already in love with this baby. "Okay, but can we go as soon as possible, I want to make sure everything with the baby is alright." "Yes, I am going to call Mark, and tell him that we both need a week off. I might have to go in for a few hours here and there, but mostly I want to stay here with you." "Okay. And Doug, Thank you." Carol says. She could tell that Doug really wants to change, but as Doug knows, it won't be easy.

While Doug went to call Mark, Lexi came in to see how Carol was doing. "Care how ya doing?" Lexi asked in that loving matter of hers. "Not so hot. I mean it is really hot, actually I am sick." Carol said. She felt like she was burning up, worst then ever. The only reason she did not tell anyone, meaning Doug, was because she did not want to freak out. Lexi reached over and felt Carol's forehead. "Man Carol your burning up. Have you taken your temperature?" Lexi asked. She had a feeling that something was really wrong, and that was scaring her. "No, I should, but I just don't have enough energy." Carol said. She was really sick, not having enough energy to get out of bed was bad. She was starting to think of all the things that could be wrong. "Let me go get the thermometer." Lexi said and then started to head out of the room. She came in and took Carol's temperature, without speaking the whole time. Carols temperature was 103.4.

When Doug Came back in Lexi took him into the other room. "Doug, I'm really worried about Carol she has a temperature of 103.4, and she does not look good at all. I am really worried about her, Doug you should take a look at her." Lexi said, she was worried that something was really wrong. "I know Lex, I looked at her, she has strep and the flu. But there is nothing a can to about treating strep because she is pregnant. As bad is it, you just have to wait it out. If it gets worse, though, I will take her in to the ER." Doug explained. Even though he was scared of committing, he knew that he loved Carol with all of his heart. "Doug, is there anything I can do for you guys?" Lexi asked in a whisper. "All I can think of that we can do, is be here. I just called Mark from where we work and told him what was happening and asked for a week off, he gave us as much time as we need." Doug filled her in. "Thats good. We should go back inside and see how she is doing." Lexi said. "Yea, thats a good idea. Lets get going." With that they both walked into Carol's room. Carol was in a restful fit of sleep. Doug cold see that she was really not sleeping that well. "I'm going to lay down with him, you can stay if you want to or whatever." Doug told Lexi. Then he slowly and quietly walked over to the bed, then lied down carefully, in hopes of not to wake Carol up, luckily his hopes came true. Doug just laid there watching Carol sleep. 'I hate seeing her like this. Oh great I am getting to attached, I can't do this, I will end up hurting her, I always end up hurting the people that I love most.' Doug thought to himself as he looked at Carol's pale figure. 'I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt our child. I don't think that I can do this. She would be better of without me, everyone knows it.' Doug thought to himself

This was the time that he started to think that he should have left when he first planed on it. In Doug's mind he was getting to attached to life and people here in Chicago. Which is not good, that is of course in his mind. What Doug did not notice is that he was to cot up in his own world that he did not even notice that Carol was now awake and looking at him, wondering what he was thinking.

Carol then decided to reach other and put her hand on Doug's shoulder so that he would finally know know that she was awake. "Doug, are you okay? You seem to be deep in your thoughts, is there anything you wanna talk about?" Carol asked. She knew that something was up. It was not often that Doug Ross just sat starting into space and not notice what was going on around him. He usually did that when he was thinking, by Doug being Doug never talked about it. Carol Knew that it was really no use asking him, because the odds were against him talking to her about what was on his mind. "Oh, Care I did not see you were awake. How are you feeling?" Doug asked not wanting to talk about him, because if he was honest to himself he did really feel like talking about what was on his mind to the person who was asking him if he was alright.

"I'm okay, I guess. I still don't feel that great, but I don't think anyone can expect me to, ya know? Doug, what were you thinking about?" 'Great how am not going to tell her, well she should know, she deserves to know, but I can't tell her.' Doug thought to himself. "You know, just some stuff." Doug told her, it was the only way the could get away without saying what he was really thinking. 'That your better off without me.' Doug told her in his mind. "Come on Doug, I know something is on your mind, all you have to do is talk, and I'll listen." Carol said, pushing him to talk to her. 'I did not know him being here and not talking to me, and holding back from me could hurt so bad. What did I do to make him not want to talk to me?' Carol thought to herself. "I can't tell you Carol, and you don't really think you want to know." Doug told her, in a harsh voice. 'Okay so I shouldn't have been so harsh to her, that was to much.' Doug thought to himself.

'Does he really love me, and just saying that he actually wanted to be with me just because, or is it just hard for him to talk about what he is thinking? I want to help him but I don't really know what to do.' Carol thought to herself. "Come on Doug, tell me. I want to know what you are feeling." Carol continued to push him to talk to her. "Fine! You want me to talk." Doug said pretty much at a yell. Then he combed down a little bit. "I'll tell you. I was thinking about how I will just end up hurting you in the end. How you would be better off if you were alone, that I should just leave so you will not get hurt." Doug told her. "You don't really believe that do you." Carol asked in a whisper. "You don't honestly believe that I would be better without the farther of my child, and without the one person I love." Carol asked with tears, she could not believe that he even thought that, and she was scared out of her mind that he would leave her.

"Carol, do you honestly think that I should stay. I just lost my temper with you for no reason. I yelled at you when you did not deserve it. How can you even think that you are better off with me here." Doug asked Carol. He was so upset that he let her know his thoughts. "I think that you should be with me, Doug. You said you are changing who you are, and that is hard. I love you and I am going to be here to support you and love you. You can't stop me from doing that." Carol told him, wondering if he could even see or feel the love that he felt for her. She also wondered if you would stay and let her love and support him. 'What if he just leaves and moves away, out of the state, and i never know were he is. "Carol I don't want to argue with you right know. Let me tell you, I will end up being a horrible father, just like my own father. You can not image what happened when he was with me. I don't want that to happen to you. I don't want you to have to know first hand, what it was like for me as a kid." Doug told her, and when he finished he had tears in his eye, and he was about to cry. Even though Carol felt horrible, and like she was going to throw up, she held him there, while laying down. Just hopping that he was going to be okay. After laying there for about five minutes, both Doug and Carol had fallen asleep, both needing to sleep, after this day.

(Sunday morning, around 10 o'clock)

Doug was right know at work, working a double shift. He was just now starting back at work, he wanted to start working so he could give Carol some room. Even if he was scared to death, he had been helping her and taking off of work, since she told him on that Thursday evening. "Hey Doug. Mark said to Doug as he entered the lounge, where Doug was taking a break. "How are you? Oh and how is Carol? Is everything alright?" Mark asked, finally remembering why he had not seen Doug in the longest time, at least it seemed like the longest time to him for he was use to seeing Doug at least one time everyday. Even if one of them were not working that day. "Carol is fine, you know strep, the flu, bad temperature, and pregnant." Doug told Mark. Mark was always the person that he told everything to, well except for what his childhood was like.

"What?" Mark asked kind of loudly. "Yea, that is what she told me Thursday night, when I went over to her house, and later found out that she was sick. I actually left when i first heard about it, then Lexi came and found me, then I went back to the house. I can't believe I actually left her, and i have been so rude to her. I don't know if i cam going to be able to stay much longer." Doug told this all to Mark in a matter of minutes. It was like he was restating that last three days to him. It was amazing actually, how fast he could talk, at this time when he needed to get everything out in the open and could not say to Carol. "Doug, you are aloud to have that right. You were caught off guard with this little bit of news. But are you going to actually leave her?" Mark said and asked.

"Thats the problem Mark. I don't know, I don't know what to do, or even what I should do. I don't even know if I am going to be staying here in Chicago for much longer." Doug told Mark. "Doug you need to let her know, I hate it that I am saying this, but if you need to leave, leave, but tell her first." Mark said. "But Mark, my question is, if I leave will you be here for her, because she will need someone, I just don't think me being here is the best for her." Doug told Mark, he was being very honest for once, when they were talking about his feeling on Carol. "I don't really believe that Doug, but if you think that is true, then I will be there for her, and even if you stay, I will be here for you and her." Mark promised Doug.

"Dr. Ross there is a young boy here to see you, name is Andrew Johnson." Jerry said sticking his head into the lounge were Doug and Mark were talking. "Okay thanks Jerry, I'll be right out." Doug called out to Jerry before he said a quick goodbye to Mark and walked out of the lounge to great this young boy. Little did Doug know he was walking out to met his son that he has had nothing to do with since the day, his mother told him that she was pregnant. The little boy looked like Doug, he was medium height, brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes, that were almost a matching pair of Doug's. It was quite apparent that the little boy could not have been more than 10 years old but as he talked to Doug it seemed as if we was so much older then 10. "Andrew?" Doug asked the small boy. "Yes, are you Doug Ross?" The little boy asked. "Yes I am." "I have to tell you something Doug, I'm your son, Do you remember Ella Johnson, well she had em and said that you are my father." Andrew told Doug, he wanted to get it out, and wanted to start to get to know his father. "Come here Andrew, lets talk in the lounge." Doug said not wanting all of his co-workers to know everything about his personal life, even if it was in the past. When the two of them entered the lounge, both went to sit down on the couch.

"Andrew, you are really my son?" Andrew just nodded his head, not wanting to say anything at this moment, because he knew what question would be next. "How is your mother doing?" "She d-died, s-she w-was in a c-car a-accident." Andrew said, and started crying, seeing this he held him, while he cried. He could not believe that Ella died, and that his son had been able to find him on his own. Doug was really amazed right know, by his son. But of course he did not think that everything had connected in his brain, that had happened today. Soon enough Andy had fallen asleep, and he took him with him, as he went to find Mark, he needed to go home, with his son.

"Mark I need to talk to you in the lounge please." Doug told Mark as he walked up to the lounge, were Mark was writing something down on the chart. Mark just nodded and they went to the lounge and said down were he and Andrew had been sitting just moments before. Just then Andy woke up. "Dad, can you take me home to your house." Andy asked. "In a minute Bud." Doug told him. "Mark I need to go home, I know I have not been working a lot lately, but I need to go home, I can fill you in later okay?" Doug asked or more like stated. "Yes sure, call me when you are going to start working again. With that Doug was out of the room, and heading to the El.

When Doug walked into Carol's room in her house, both Andrew and Carol were asleep. Well this is a good thing, they both need their rest for different reasons. Doug was even more confused then he was this morning, know he had his son top worry about, he was afraid of what Andy would think or even do about Carol being his girlfriend. He gently laid Andy down on the bed next to Carol, luckily he stayed asleep, but Carol woke up. "Doug?" Carol asked when he say him.

When Doug saw that Carol was now awake, he went around the bed, and picked her up, then sat down with her on his lap. "Hey baby. Sorry if I woke you up. How are you feeling?" Doug asked her quietly, trying not to wake up his soon, who really needed his sleep right know. "I'm okay, Doug, who is this little boy? Is everything okay? You did not work that long today." Carol asked him. "He is my son, Andrew. I'm sorry about just dumping this all on you, but he came to me today, and told me his mom just died. So I left the hospital early, I came to the only place I could really think of going. If you want I can take him to my apartment so you can sleep." Doug told her.

"No, its okay. Keep him here. Its okay, maybe when he wakes up we can cook him something to eat, plus I need to try to eat something too." "Care, your sick, you should be resting and letting me take care of you." Doug told her, he was starting to worry about her, because she had been trying to do more things while she was still sick. "No Doug its okay, I am feeling much better, plus this will give you some time with your son. But right know I want to be with you for a little. I missed you even if you were only gone for four hours." Carol said laughing at herself. "Are you sure your feeling better? I don't want you to do something that is to much."

"Doug, I am feeling better, plus you need to be with Andrew right know, he needs you especially now that he just lost someone so special to him." Carol told him, she was feeling special, but she was worried that this little boy that was sleeping next to her would think that she was trying to take the place of his mother, which would not be true. Carol knew, just like Doug, that this would be a hard time, that is if Doug was going to stay, and even if he did not stay it would be a hard time. "Okay, but I want some time with you to. I have missed you, and later on, we need to talk. Okay?" Doug asked. "Okay, but right know you look really tired why don't you try to sleep while Andrew is." Carol told him. "Okay but only if you try to sleep too." Doug responded. "Okay." Then soon the family of three, soon to be four, was fast asleep.

"Dad. Dad, wake up." Andy said trying to wake his father up. "Hey Andy." Doug said and quietly got up, laid Carol back down, and went to Andy. Unfortunately Carol woke up, and as she did she sat up. "Hey buddy, how are you doing?" Doug asked as he picked Andy up, as he did, he noticed that Carol was awake. "I'm okay dad, just a little bit hungry." Andy said, then whispered to his dad. "Who is that dad?" Doug had to laugh at this, but he remembered that Andrew might be a little wary around new people. "Well Andy this is my girlfriend, Carol. And do you want to get something to eat, I think we might have some things to make sandwiches with." Doug told them, then turned and said to Carol. " Would you like to join us hon, you should really eat something?" "If it is alright with Andrew, then I will." Carol said. "It is okay with me, but why only if its okay with me will you join us?" Andy wanted to know.

"Well I thought you would not want me there, and maybe you wanted some time with your dad, but lets go." Carol said getting out of bed and then walking out of the room to go into the kitchen. "Carol, hon, I will make the sandwiches, why don't you sit?" Doug asked. "Okay, I'll let you make the sandwiches this time." Carol said, with a laugh. They all eat their lunch together, but you can tell that Andrew is a little uncomfortable around Carol, he did not know what to think of this, and he did not want his mom to think that another women has taken her place.

To be continued


End file.
